 |  Well no worries, this week's matches contained even more idiocy than last week's. The award this week goes out to Monkey Island. Their generally crappy play was balanced out by blind luck to get them a loss by the tie rule. Kind of makes one wonder why the WP/BMF types hang out with the rest of these losers.  Game one starts out swimmingly. Both teams do a typical 3-prong a la Hitlow, except MI leaves some melee back for the purpose of rushing somewhere.Anyway, Angry presses the middle and does some major damage. MI coordinates their melee into a big rushing force and pushes them back. This attempt fails miserably, mostly because Murray (aka Zaramis of the Swedish Meatballs <-- an overrated team of last year's MWC) brings his melee down to middle from his flank, then realizes that he can't hold his flank without melee, then brings them back after they do nothing in the middle except get pussed and flamed a bit (Blunder 2). The end result is that all MI's warriors end up doing is taking damage while dispensing none whatsoever. Quite an accomplishment for MI, because not only did they outnumber their opponents' melee by something like 3 to 1, Angry also didn't have any dwarves left to counter them, so it was all pus and fire arrows for Angry. With their plan blown and their chances of getting anything other than a big max-point loss out of this game shot down, MI has nothing left to do but wait to die. Zaramis figures his little escapade with the warriors wasn't a big enough letdown for his team, and he goes on to walk over his own team's satchel charges and get blown up by a flame arrow fired by yours truly (Blunder 3). MI loses to the tune of max points to min.  The next game goes in a different direction entirely. MI does a standard 3-prong while Angry does a southern-based rush with small flanks guarding the other crossings. Angry also gets a little gholpack, which runs over to the MI flag. This would have only been enough for a 75-100% contest (6 points), but someone on the MI team forgot to pick up a big pus piece. The Angry ghols pick it up and freeze all the thrall, then kill the journeyman. Boom, now Angry has an 8-point contest (Blunder 4). Things go a little better for MI; an Angry pusser in the south lags and loses not only all of his pus to one MI ghol, but the explosion takes out one of his teammates' pus ghols as well. This pretty much blows the game for Angry; when doing a rush strat, you pretty much need all the pus you can get, and losing half of it to lag is enough to cost you the game. Angry makes a few attempts at rushing the MI dwarves with warriors, but to no avail, and loses 14-8. Blind luck evens up the score a bit for MI. The first lichen game goes pretty much standard as well. Both teams do a typical 3-prong. MI slowly loses every flank...the only noteworthy blunder comes from Flying Welshman (aka Mortur), who keeps his archers in a tight formation while Angry's general and dwarf are carpet bombing him, and loses nearly all of them (Blunder 5). Oh yes, and while beating down Flying Welshman in the northwest, I make a blunder of my own and forget to tag the unguarded flag. Also, my absense from the Angry temple flag allowed a small MI group to get by and tag 2 flags. All in all, I singlehandedly cost my team 12 points! (Blunder 6) Good thing it didn't end up stopping us from winning the match, or I'd have to dedicate a Blunder of the Week to myself. MI eventually beats back the attack. Near the end of the game, another attack on the flag is made, and MI makes the luckiest rush ever done in Myth 2 history. Their small group of warriors sustain 3 dwarf cocktails, which all dud. Angry wins 5-5. Once again, MI gets points by blind luck. The next game features a bunch of little screwups that add up to one big screwup of a game for Angry. Angry ends up losing 5-3, tying up the score at 59-59. Possibly the only game where MI won without the luck factor.  Going into the last game, MI maybe makes the biggest blunder yet: they think if they tie this game, they'll win the match. Reality check; as per the rules, if the score and games are tied, the higher seed wins. Anyway, MI sets up their big camp on the 3 flanks, while Angry kind of sits back and laughs at them for most of the game. The game starts off with Slappy Cromwell wasting his trow right at the start, only succeeding in damaging the Angry trow (Blunder 7). Elaine Marley (aka some civil impersonator...at least according to Zaramis, who went around b.net bragging that MI contained civil members and that Elaine was on BISON's list of the top 10 best players ever. In reality Elaine is neither in civil nor even on the list of the the top 200 best players ever) loses "her" artillery in the south, and this not only blows their chances of winning the game, but also allows Angry to push everywhere (Blunder 8). Although Angry nearly succeeds in killing a peasant with a couple of krids, the game ends in a tie thanks to the low time limit. The game ends in a tie in points, which means MI is headed to the bottom bracket, and MI ends the game by yelling "WHOO" in all-caps. They must be looking forward to playing 2 matches per week and facing elimination if they lose, or something.Honorable mention for Blunder of the Week goes out to Kilgrath of Aesir, for his big suicide of Aesir's 21 warriors against a much smaller group of ci units. It kind of blows the mind to think of how much you have to suck to lose when you outnumber the enemy 2 to 1 and you have pus supporting you, too. Wait, MI already did that, never mind. So, what has Myrk taught us today? 1. Monkey Island is a big failure of an MWC effort that will probably be eliminated in DE5 if they get past Aesir in Round 4. Losing to Aesir is kind of like losing to a fat midget with cerebral palsey, but I think MI will manage. 2. To do the DEVIL SPIN KICK in Oni (my new favorite game - yes, it is a much better game than Myth could ever hope to be), CROUCH, RELEASE CROUCH and KICK. A good move when surrounded by multiple opponents! 3. Zaramis is the last person I've ever seen get blown up by his own satchels since Henry. 4. Oh wait, Ramirez satchel/pussed himself last night. My bad. I hope Ramirez falls off his chair and electrocutes himself by crashing into his computer. 5. Based on the play seen in this game, I have decided that MI will win MWC. LOL YEAH RIGHT!!! :) |
