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Blunder of the Week
DE Round One - Myrkridon
The first round of Double Elimination was mostly full of one-sided blowout matches, with the losing teams making too many stupid mistakes to count. In fact, I almost decided to just skip this week when faced with the prospect of having to watch so many awful films in search of that one mistake that would qualify as the Blunder of the Week. Luckily, after watching several matches at 16X speed and trying unsuccessfully to hold back the bile rising in my throat, I came to Game Two of the F,Communications vs the Kentucky Fighting Chickens match.

Double Elimination Round One - F,comm vs KFC


Guard the flag, not just the ramp F and KFC seem to be at about the same skill level, with the same Trow rating and a similar QR record, not to mention the close score of their match. The kicker is that if KFC hadn't made one pivotal mistake, they would have taken the match.

Asleep at the wheel The game starts out innocently enough; both teams do the typical 3-prong-with-lots-of-artillery strategy, fight with stickmen at the river, yadda yadda yadda...Saipan loses almost all his stickmen to one Cloaked Flasher right at the start, blah blah blah...anyway, without much ado over whose arrows killed whose Firedongs etc, KFC won the southern fight convincingly and broke through, while all their other flanks were able to hold off the enemy. F retaliates by sending their whole middle force down to help, but they get massacred.
With only a couple minutes left, KFC leads by about 25%, with a 7-2 flag lead. This is about the time most people would type a premature "gg", since the F7 screen says it's over, folks.

Warlocks kill fetch? Well, it's at this point in the game that KFC does the Myth equivalent of replacing their goalie with a $2 hooker in a hockey game (I'll let you figure out that joke yourself). The Blunder of the Week begins...Boab of F sends a few melee units right by Renwood's warlock, who should really have peed fire on them but didn't. This is an unfortunate event for KFC because they have no defense at all on any of their homefield flags. Boab sends one Sword-wielding Homosexual to the north flag ("flag captured") and 2 Toothy Igors to the northwest flag, although they never make it. He also sends a single berserk to the tower flag that Renwood is supposed to be guarding. Apparently Ren isn't watching, because his Warthog and Kiltman just sit there while the single F Scotsman takes the flag. Blunder of the week fulfilled. Ren moves his melee in the general direction of the captured flag, but too late. F takes the 5-4 win, and KFC is unable to recover. F goes on to win the match by a narrow 8-point margin, probably thanking Renwood's inattentiveness the whole time.

So, what has Myrk taught us today?
1. I like $2 hookers. Well, doesn't everyone?
2. Don't ever give defensive units to Renwood.
3. Territories is actually not about holding territory, it's about holding flags that change color when different units come near them. Hmm.
4. Yes, berserks really are all queer. Why do you think they run around wearing makeup and little skirts?
5. Based on the play seen in this match, I have decided that GWAR will lose to KFC in the bottom bracket by something less than a max-to-min differential, rather than the max-to-min I would have said earlier.