This match was mostly boring as one of the top 2...wait the top team plays against a group of italians who have other things on their mind. It shows. The games were filled with predictability and boringness, but it gave me something to do for 2 hours while i was at work. I hope at least 1 person gets 1 laugh out of this. Maybe Ill do another one in the future if that happens.



Let the reviewing commence!

MWC QR Pool Gor-Ash
The ThumperCawks vs Civil: The Italian flavor.

GAME 1: FR on Lichen until Death (final)

Game starts out with some chattiness on the Tcox side. Perhaps they are nervous about their first game? Drunk? Just named Paris? Anyways, grim starts us off by commenting on scratch’s wife:




 
I dunno, I think THOR could take her. Or maybe some spicy pictures of her.

Not much else to be noted other than qwerty’s ability to not distribute fast enough, at least for grim’s liking.


 
Maybe, if TehCox are lucky they can talk with these Italian gentlemen and reach a merger agreement? Then they would be represented by all countries of the world, and be the ultimate force. Or maybe MWC would just be over because everyone is on the same team ):

On to the game. Both sides get puss, with the I talians being slower in the melting process. Because of recent malaria outbreaks, CJNG ensures their jmans health early in the game.




Both sides get 2 wights, slightly melted for puss. Interesting chat from the green team during the first 5 minutes of the game while the only thing that happens is walking.


 

ITA takes the lead early (mostly because they distributed units faster!) and gets the first 2 tags of the game. They also only send a sizeable flank south. They have a small one sitting on the north flag but they have well over 50% of their army in the south. Ram heads that direction with their general (I have yet to see an Italian general), and Tcox middle engages the outer edges of the southern Italian stronghold, who have yet to utter a word in game at this point. Perhaps some form of Italian esp? or mb just ventrilo.

Paris is instructed, with his elite army, to attack the NW flag, and also to ‘tag shit’. He spends a bit of time shooting arrows at a lone ghol and slowly advances on NW flag.


Meanwhile on the south flag, the Italians form a peninsula not unlike their home country. Except in place of Italy we have horny Italians. Cave here represents the Adriatic sea, Tirri the mighty Tyrrhenian, and grim is the sneaky Mediterranean trying to attack him from the far east.



As you can see, things don’t look good for the beach’s of Italy today.

Instead of keeping their 50% on the flag and valiantly defend, they decide to move Italy up onto the temple, and brave Kearney makes a quick tag on flag V


 

Paris and Ram rapeth the NW flag defenses (yes I lied, they snuck the general back to the north). I didn’t feel like making screens so ill descrive it…Pars archers owned some archers. Ram’s duff/gen owned some wars. They tagged the flag.
Back in the south, Tirri distracts Italy as the entire team chases him while ignoring the fact that its FR and their opponent has a victory imminent and about to win.



As the game nears an end I look at the last flag and discover Italy does have a general. He was on the defense. Perhaps they hired him from France? With some slick pussing and duffing Chicken and cave easily dispatch of the last few defenders. And even tho Nine eagle red skull didn’t catch malaria, he did catch a sword in the face


 

Final % 87-38.

GAME 2: Caer Cadarn (Trow) Terries.

Qwerty again caps for cox, but Italians trade up their star vito for Meph. Apparently vito’s speed didn’t make up for the previous loss they suffered. The Italians speak their first words of the match…of course in Italian. I have no idea what they said…something about some soulless and an iwight. I don’t know.

Grim hatches a plan to attack the fireplace and chicken recommends a blacksmith. Grim then complains about not getting enough getch or something and says hes going to drop. Qwerty also gets fired again. we will see if this sticks or not in the next game.

Game On.

Teams basically get the same units…3 trow bunch of fetch bunch of souls bunch of zerks and a bunch of mauls. The key difference? Their colors. I can actually see the red team on the overhead, where as the damn cox are camo mode

Paris whines about soulless duty so the cap puts him in place


 
Ram is manning the trow for cox and Meph has them on the Italian side.

Meph gets aggressive although I don’t know what he expected to do.


 

Ram shadows the trow and the tcox fetch start to make bacon out of the Italians middle forces. They dance around the outside for a bit. The Italians try to make a rush in at the fetch but are forced back as they get repeatedly fried. I would have put more screens but this about sums it up




 

Tcox wins 81%-4% or something like that. they tagged them. Not too exciting sorry.

The final Game.

GAME 3: Grilling Grounds (Light) CTF

In the final game of this match the Italians elect a 3rd captain, OAF for Mark. The lighting johnsons finally do fire qwerty and Tirri takes over as team leader. The colors are very pastel-esk for this game.
The cox members question some of the new players for Italy, but chicken dismisses it with some good logic.


 

And more exciting chat, unedited from the film



Game On.

Some small talk porn discussion still goes on but not worth me hitting the screenshot button. At least not yet. Teams get similar trades again, except Cox gets archers and the horn dogs get extra wars and now bowmen. Both forces head towards middle with a small ghol flank for the Italian team headed towards tcox home base.

DOBE manages to get a trow into the enemies archer formation but manages to not kill anything and lose over half of his health in the process


 
They apparently just wanted to get to the flag. Tcox blows the shit out of the Italians zerks and their trows wander aimlessly around tcox flag unable to take it. The Italians lost a trow and the other one just gives up…so now to Tcox offense.

In a reiteration of something that was stated last year, drop your satchels. This will be a prime example of why its better to drop them. But way to Ram to be on the ball…as usual.




 

Yes this wasn’t nearly as devastating and the event from last year, but it just goes to show. With that the % were something like 96 to 18…who do you think won? The tcox zerks and other trow came in and cleaned up in about 2 more minutes and that was the game, set, and match. Gg tcox. You win.


I know my review sucked so let the flaming begin!