This match is the perfect example of why thundercox never ever ever wins tourneys even though they have good players. Through bad stratigy but fantastic play they roll over the lesser "good" teams, but get raped by the teams that are good players, have good chemistry, and good strats. Their only hope is if a mythfamous captain decides to cap for them. If hit, rab, or btt captained for this team, I have little doubt they'd win the tourney. Or at least, put up a fight.

Game starts out and shows that Thundercox is having trouble coping with the loss of hilarity that is formed with their unusual chemistry. The reason for this loss? I attribute it to Zer. Either way the chat was lame and shitty.


Cox are north and GC is south. Ram and Lina decide to both go for two prong strats. Lina decides to send a huge force north and a huge force middle and next to nothing south. Ram decides to send a huge force north and a huge force south, and next to nothing middle. Upon discovering that they have no middle, GC sends most of its forces north to help out (44%-40% before the help, 65%-40% with the help)


Meanwhile, Wight Slayer split off from the middle as it headed north, and with his 8 thrall 4 archers dwarf and two ghols (15%) heads south to stem the incoming horde.

At this point, GC’s south is certainly going to get corned, but, thanks to a superior strategy by Lina Inverse, GC looks to win the game. She has cleverly flanked and smashed against the edge of the map the entire northern army of Cox.

This is all within the first minute and thirty. Its games like this that make me think “wow…this is why cox always gets corned and never wins a tourney. Jesus this is retarded.”

Luckily for cox, Captain Lina is on the prowl looking for easy victims to fall pray to her wily want of destruction. Rather than crush the north, fall back, defend against south, and then go tag flags, she opts for plan B…wait…no….she orders Pele to cross the map diagonally



with his paltry 12% to help WS on a flag that’s already been lost.

She then orders Myk to go tag out of desperation (cox is up 5-4 flags at this point), and so the Northern advantage of GC is effectively neutralized bringing %s’ almost even. Meanwhile, Pele is trekking across map doing nothing useful, myk is off attempting to tag, and cox is raping south. After the loss in units north, cox is able to fall back and unstuck itself against the wall. Clank and Stormrider rush, and completely rape the GC north.

Does all the blame go to Lina? No! Just most of it, for GC’s north forces shouldn’t have let clank, stormrider, and qwerty fall back. But mostly it was Lina’s fault. Never listen to her orders again if they are received after PT.

Cox wins. Game 2 Ass Trow.

Nothing in this map really excites me, so I decided to write about all the significant events in this thread instead.

2 Min Pt, 14 min Game time.

2:00-1:37 pt
Clank decides to make a bad joke


1:09
Myk decides to set him in his place


:59
Paris makes a joke so funny everybody forgets to laugh


:53
Paris decides that if it was so funny people forgot to laugh, he should add a follow-up that wasn’t quite as funny so that people will remember this time


:50
Still so funny people forgot to laugh, Paris writes another follow-up


:45
Finally, its not so funny people forget to laugh, and Myk obligingly remembers “hah” he says.


:41
Clank, seething with jealousy, gets >:O


f2
f2
f2
f2

13:50
qwerty asks if he can, and I quote “go peas hunting”

13:48
Ram, displaying the on the fly leadership he is so famous for, in a verbose response replies “no”

F2
F2
F2
F2

12:18
Myk manages to “sneak” trow past cox’s huge middle, and even manages to kick a duff. He is feeling pretty proud right now.

12:19: Myk realizes that his tow is lower than half health with a full green trow shadowing him.


12:20
Myk, using the methods of his forefathers who fought in the revolutionary war, opts to “Run away.”

F2
F2
F2
F2
F2
F2
F2
F2

8:56
Rameriz, sitting in the middle defending his peasants around the big mid hill, gets more >:O than a BME member about Junkfood, at how all the peasants do is sit around on their assess all fucking day. He decides to send them on a few laps.



After realizing it took about two minutes for the peasants to run, about the equivalent of the 50 yard dash, Ram gets bored and decides to follow the lead of Monty Python in their movie “And Now, For Something Completely Different.”  Namely, he decides to have them stop doing laps.

F2
F2
F2
F2
F2

Cox wins 10 peasant kills to 0.

Ram seems to have left, and Clank is capping in his place. Flatline and Henry seem to have shown up as well, and with such legendary players under the powerful up and coming captain, victory is assured.

Which is why, this game, I will focus on the heroic fight that Six Motion Bloody Jaguar and his two brothers (Under the control of Myk the Lame of GC) fought in a struggle of good verse evil.

The Triplets were born in a little log cabin in back country Nebraska, like Abraham Lincoln. However, unlike Lincoln, they were filthy native Americans, and were named things like “Six Motion Bloody Jaguar,” and “Twelve Eagle Falling Son,” and “Eight Flint Deer.” Learning to fight at the tender age of 1, and continuing their studies of battle for the rest of their lives, they quietly soaked up knowledge in the hinter lands. The battle in the Land of Ice was their first, and what some might call last experience with battle.

Immediately upon finishing the planning stages of the battle to come, the triplets set out to help the army as best they can. Young saps never having experienced battle without a single kill between he lot of them, yet with a deadly knowledge in the arts of killing. They set out north, but then headed south to help against the powerful thrust of evil, their polar opposites, the Triplets of Evil.

After helping with the army, they manage to assist in the slaying of the first and weakest of the evil triplets, bringing their numbers to two. Each kills a deadly warrior for their first time,


and after what was later named The Battle of the Triplets, they began a hunt, seeking out the remaining two evil members of their race.

After a long trek, remaining close on the tail of the two evil brothers, they come to a flag of evil, and using this flag the evil Twins were able to summon two Undead Thrall for assistance. Using the mystical powers of the mandrake, Six Motion Bloody Jaguar’s brothers are able to dispatch the thrall,

routing the evil brothers and sending them fleeing once again. This time they fled toward the city of Haydun Farseth, where another epic struggle was taking place, of magnitude the Triplets of Good had never seen.

The struggle in Haydun Farseth went back and forth, and once again the triplets joined the ranks and helped out where they could. With the triplets battle prowess becoming legendary as they fought, and with the help of their stalwart companions consisting of many valiant warriors and fiery archers, the triplets were once again able to rout the evil twins, and manage to kill one of them in the process.


The last of the evil twins, fleeing for his very life fell back on the last bastion of evil just as the armies of truth and justice converged and cut off all escape. It was the final battle.

The Battle of the Butchers

It was a battle spoken of for many an age after it occurred, the might forces of truth and justice far outnumbering the forces of evil numerically, but knowing full well that under General Clank lay Flatline, in charge of the use of the most evil man ever to come to earth, Eight Pride Stalking Rabbit. Even Flatline paled in comparison to the evil that eminated from Eight Pride Stalking Rabbit, and held only marginal control at best.

The armies of truth and justice, commanded by General Lina Inverse, and drawing their strength from the heroism and courage of the triplets and their captain Myk, advanced inexorably toward what they knew would be the last battle. Leading the charge up the hill were the triplets, Six Motion Bloody Jaguar in front, knowing full well that their doom might be imminent, but knowing that for the sake of their comrades they must mount the hill and clear a path. Atop the hill stood Varling the Dwarf, once a good and noble dwarf famed throughout the land, but who’s mind had been crushed by the evil of Eight Pride Stalking Rabbit, and who’s only goal in life was evil now.


The Triplets rushed up, and Varling threw his first shot. The Triplets spread, but still the bomb landed, directly atop Six Motion Bloody Jaguar’s head! Quickly utilizing the powers of the mandrake root, he healed himself as his brothers again advanced up the hill, knowing the must kill Varling in order to clear a path for their comrades. Again Varling threw, and this time it landed among Six Motion’s brothers, dazing them. Still they advanced, and slipped past the hastily erected defense. Little did they know Varling was bitter to the core, and his last act was suicidal in nature, and in doing so he threw a bomb directly in the face of his enemies, knowing full well the explosion would kill himself.  It did, but in doing so it also killed Twelve Eagle Falling Sun, and sorely wounded the other two brothers.


Eight Pride Stalking Rabbit quickly slew the gravely wounded Eight Flint Deer, but again Six Motion utilized the mystical powers of the mandrake and healed himself. It was mono v mono, good verse evil. And then, with a victorious blow, Six Motion slew Eight Pride Stalking Rabbit,

and ths evil was vanquished.

Also, so was thundercox, and Clank promised never to captain again.
The End.