All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. -Edmund Burke

Whether you hate them, love them, or change your viewpoint daily in order to suck as much cock as possible (Elfoid), BME is one of the greatest orders to ever embrace the game of Myth  II: Soulblighter. And, as their acronym describes, they are both Brills and Evil (what?), and put E.I. to shame with their undying malice and excessive forum faggotry. But in all honesty, when their full team is fielded, they have dominated this game for the past three years. So who will rise to the challenge and defeat these baneful buggers?

You already know the outcome of the match, but then again you already knew Hayden Christensen was going to fuck up a brilliant Episode 3 script with his Sophia Coppola like trilogy ruining skills, BUT YOU STILL WENT! So how on earth did TCOX usurp, if only temporarily, myth’s most prestigious order?


The bane of my existence.

*foreshadows*
BME starts off with a significant disadvantage: Cannibal Ox is playing.. and he’s given a Forest Giant to boot. TCOX, seemingly predicting that Cannibal Ox would fuck up, quickly jump out to a head start, with Ramirez’s FG sneaking behind enemy lines as Ox fails to shadow, allowing Rami to capture BME’s starting flag. Meanwhile, an overly aggressive and hungover Magne gets his FG trapped and the artist formerly known as Tinkie Winkie, or, Cave, freezes the Ent rip-off and promptly slaps it to death.

Chohan’s mort shot is a second too late, and with Cannibal “click and pray I get the right puss” Ox controlling Ent #2, BME’s fate is all but sealed.

However, TCOX has fortified themselves in their middle flag, and are slowly being surrounded, and BME reminds Ramirez why they’re the best team in the tournament.

Loial avenges his brother’s death and helps kill Ramirez’s shrubbery monster.

But the tide quickly changes again, as Zer defeats Ox’s FG with another puss and Chohan complains of lag.. but then quickly clarifies what he meant.

With the indecisive Chohan out of action and a 20% advantage, TCOX proceed to bumrush the rest of BME’s units and win decisively, 9 flags to 6.
Blade’s Coca Cola Player of the Game: Zer, when TCOX blew their FG advantage, Zer quickly dismantled BME’s remaining FG and undoubtedly turned the tide of the game.
Blade’s Dr. Pibb’s Player(s) of Shame: Cannibal Ox and Magne both receive this dubious honor, as both of their FG were largely ineffective and died due to being frozen.

As a certain ICBM member knows, whose name shall remain anonymous (KUGAR - HE HAD THE ZERK I HAD THE SOUL WHY IN THE FUCK IS IT MY RESPONSIBILITY TO CONTEST?), the key to winning this map/game type is pretty simple, keep your units on the flag.
Both teams, seemingly having first played that combo since the last MWC, now engage in a much more wisely played match.
On TCOX’s side, Zer leaves cave to go do absolutely nothing, allowing Chohan’s morts and Magne’s lepersee tree to slowly diminish cave’s zerk/mort force. However, Zer’s stupidity pays off, as Chohan and Magne strand from each other, and Zer is able to fight off BME’s force. On the other side of the river, Chron’s FG dies having done minimal damage, and TCOX is able to claim BME’s starting flag, which ultimately leads to victory.
What happens from this point to the final 30 seconds is irrelevant, so we’ll just skip some 10 minutes..

Stormrider’s Uruk Hai stone magne’s FG, and save the southern flag, although it didn’t really matter, as  Flatline is able to hold off an impressive Chohan assault on TCOX’s mid flag.
TCOX win, more narrowly, 8 flags to7.

Clank, ecstatic that his team was able to save that flag, and thus, one whole point.
Blade’s Coca-Cola Player of the Game: Zer, who pretty much played Rambo in both games, made the right decisions at the right times, and dominated the game.
Blade’s Dr. Pibb’s Player of Shame: Chron, for somehow doing a worse job than Cannibal Ox with the FG.

Oh what an FPS nightmare this game is... the pink team sends all their units mid, whereas BME tries to actually implement strategy, and has moderately sized war flanks north and south. In what appears to be a strategic move, TCOX lures BME onto their side while Chohan’s south has worked its way around mid and is heading for the flag.

Paris, seeking a pay day for his ratios, rushes some helpless mid units with Ramirez. At this point, Zer, Storm and Clank, at a combined 28%, are defending the flag from Magne, Cho, and Chron at a combined 23%, while Rami & Par attempt to crush mid with their superior war force.

Magne’s 6% war force manages to hold up Zer’s 18%, Clank, who controlled only 3 ghols (2 of which had puss, other had a bottle), loses one of each to a brilliantly placed Chohan puss, rendering Stormrider defenseless against Chohan and Chron’s war forces. However, one of Clank’s ghols survives just long enough to contest for Zer and his dwarf to reach the flag.. but it dies quicker than the XFL and the game ends.

Blade’s Coca Cola Player of the Game: Chohan, for his haste in taking the flag, and because had Clank’s ghols survived, they would have undoubtedly done more damage, possibly allowing Zer to save the flag.
Blade’s Dr. Pibb’s Player of Shame: Stormrider, the captain of this game, did not give a single order in the final minutes, and did not foresee Chron and Chohan’s direct movement towards the flag, should have had Ramirez or Par come home instead of pursue a meaningless battle mid.

This game starts out with BME, mostly dwarf, bitching about the map choices. Let me just say something before I move on to game four. Shut the fuck up dwarf. Staple your vagina shut, punch yourself in the mouth, and run as fast as you can into a wall. You have never hosted a single tournament, you haven’t even to my recollection contributed in any way whatsoever to a tournament: not a review, not an article, nada zip ZILCH (I’m sure Elfoid will correct me here). Everyone is going to have some kind of gripe with a map choice, and in the course of a four month tournament, not everything is done perfectly, this has been one of the most smoothly run MWC’s I can remember, so once again, go soothe your irritated labia you whining whorebag.

Anyway, you all know how this game always plays out. Fetch and melee battle it out, and then each team’s 3 trow, in a show of Myth Testosterone decide to engage each other. Zer initially takes a lead in the trow fight, but BME’s melee is coming to the rescue, and what appears to be a walk bug costs Zer his final trow, although Clank and Ramirez zap a significant amount of melee and Chohan is left with two very weakened trow, however, Rami & Clank get too aggressive, and Cho distracts them with a trow while Loial and dwarf knock out Rami’s fetch, while an unseen spider rusher from BTT manages to take out the rest of Clank’s fetch. However, the trade is about even as Clank does a pretty good job of keeping the rest of his shit alive.

At this point both teams sort of back off, with BME recognizing their superiority in melee and morts, they decide to wait for the final seconds.

Blahhity blah blah, nothing too dramatic, BME plays smart and their morts simply devour TCOX.

Blade’s Coca Cola Player of the Game: Well I guess dwarf sure showed me! With 6%, he had the most kills and damage for his team, easily receives this award.
Blade’s Dr. Pibb’s Player of Shame: Ramirez, whose fetch’s death ultimately lead to the death of Clank’s fetch, practically securing a victory for BME.

Well it is fitting that the rubber game of this match is the most generic, yet arguably most enjoyable map combinations in the history of myth. While this match certainly wasn’t the finals of MWC, you would have thought it was if you were in this game. The score is currently 25-24 in favor of tcox, meaning that BME can win the game with just three flags.

TCOX does a standard three prong, while BME goes very light on wars, allowing them to max dwarves and puss, a strat that would have rocked had TCOX had a rush flank, but they do not. There is no action on either side for the first few minutes, but not surprisingly, Chohan’s flank decides to take the initiative south.. and at Rami first does a good job defending, but then retreats too much, allowing Chohan to enter deep into TCOX territory, and Magne and Cho then proceed to pinch Rami when he chases Cho.

Meanwhile on the North Side, Zer’s flank has crossed the river and is now pressing mid, things are looking awfully good for TCOX. In order to avoid being pinched, Accesz and Dwarf press mid hard, on the notion that Magne’s South force will soon be coming to help. However, Zer makes quick work of BME’s mid and moves to fight dwarf, magne, and accesz.

At this point, it is Zer vs BME, and all that is standing between TCOX and victory is chohan’s duff, Chohan.. BME’s saviour.. Myth’s Barry Bonds.. so surely BME has a good shot at this right?

The hearts of many young Norwegians sink at this site. >:(

In the final seconds, TCOX is up 18%-5, and BME has spread out and has positioned themselves to maybe obtain three flags, although that will not prove enough as TCOX had a 5-1 flag lead at one point, making it impossible for BME to win via perm tie. Some contesting ensues.. but the upset of MWC06 is not stopped..

And THE THUNDERCOX... defeat the mighty Brills.

Blade’s Coca Cola Player of Game/Match: As in TCOX’s other two victories, Zer completely dominated this game and made clutch plays when he needed to. His efforts helped keep TCOX in the top bracket and help unseat the best team in the tournament. TCOX owes Zer a hand-job or two.

Blade’s Dr. Pibb’s Player of Shame for Game/Match: Hard to really give this to anyone since it was such a close match, but this match was lost on desert, and it was waaaaay too easy for Zer to cross north since their were no arcs and weak melee force, allowing for the mid pinch and the eventual TCOX victory, meaning this one gets pinned on BTT, the captain, for letting that happen.

Disclaimer: I in no way harbor specific prejudice towards any specific player in this match, I dislike you all equally!
Past winners of Blade’s Coca Cola Player of Game: Regulus (x2), Enigman, Ruin, browning
Past winners of Blade’s Dr. Pibb’s Player of Shame: Bombtrack, RocketDive, Ruin, Q-tip, Balefire, Lone

I will see you all next year!