This is a match between a team that was the only one I never got to play against (so far) and a team that detests me highly, both teams playing the game Myth II: Soulblighter against each other. Apparantly GC won 5-0, but let's see how this translates on the game field.
There is no reason to watch these films, both teams are mediocore or lowest but it looks like they had a lot of fun playing each other =)

gay rally on the great estate
BMW starts south and GC starts north, which already puts BMW in a bad position. Maddog captains for BMW and doesn't say a word, this either means they're using some sort of voice communication, telepathy or have practiced this map enough that everyone knows what they're doing. Ascot looks really cool on elfoids webpage with the pictures on it and then talks about candy and begins to spam HEY in pregame! 2 pts awarded to team BMW. Lina captains for god cops and gives orders and reassures peoeple where to go. God Cops 1 Car Company 2. soon enough it is assured that bmw is using voice communication as one or two of thier players lag out of whatever server they're in.
Krillen of BMW sends his herons mid right in the begining as toxyn tags the flag, and pressures toxyn into stepping off. being the mother of god cops and myth as we know it, lina reassures him that everythings going to be fine. Meanwhile, krillen begins to go west and then gets pinned against a canyon wall and ends up going back to mid. Papa bandura's lock gets pussed and locked to death and krille sends a hg and puss as papa rushes the west flag in an effort to make worth of his loss in units. in the rush, the elfoid of gc decides to shoot his own herons and block his warlock shot, which allows papa to take the west flag, the most easily defensivable flag mid, with no problem at all. Or does he? quickly making up for his friends mistake, knight hawk puts a ghol on the hill, rendering the flag contested and papa lost in confusion.
mad dog tells krille to go west and help papa, so krille decides to go east instead (i don't really blame him), realizes his mistake, and decides to go and sit on mid. in the meantime, papa (who is now joined by ascot the pirate) somehow overwhelms gc's forces, even though they have twice the herons he does, as well as a ghol and a warlock, and captures the west flag. with that flag taken, gc ponders what to do next. lina is really cool too, she incorporates REAL LIFE STRATEGIES into myth. What happens when some bitch takes something of her possession?

Elf: where to lina?
Inverse: to thier bf

papa runs around being tailed very closely in gc's backfield while toxyn pushes the absense of bmw's mid
i hit f2 a bunch of times now. papa bandura has an alzhimers attack from being so old and forgets what bmw had on one of thier d flags (3 brigs, 2 morts), but thats okay because cog sinister comes to the rescue and maims the flag.
i guess gc captured some other flag because now BMW has victory imminent but is in last place. krillen tries to defend bmw's last flag with some stuff but decides to rush is warlock into oncoming traffic and gets raped by a heron rush.
player of the game: i didn't watch his shit but judging by ratios, wight slayer beat some heads in and assisted in taking the last flag, he probably had heron heros.
player of blunder: elf lost a bunch of his shit stupidly and shot his own stuff a bunch too.

god cops 12 papa bandura 8

game two! same thing! quite lame and boring to watch!
anyway same captains and the colors are really goth and icky. i am surprised papa bandura even stayed in the game for there wasn't a rainbow of colors on either team.
in planning time the elfoid bitchs about how he lost his units due to poor pathfinding, and it is true. the great divide and the dark canyon have some of the worth pathfinding in the world. little does he know about the neat little shift key and the waypoint option!
gc starts south and bmw startrs north again.
lina yells at wight slayer and tells him not to stop going into the back field next time. i am not sure how to conclude this but that is very unmotherly for someone to do :(
game starts and gc forgets to heal all of thier wights, silly them! what's even more silly is croakers heron that comes back to heal it, cause it's color has been bleached to disco because of the shitty map! anyway, bmw is once again down in flags, but maddog begins to think like lina (without the whole feminist ordeal) and translates real world situations to myth with his demands of

anyway, i pressed f2 a bunch. east has more action than this game and the elfoid does some really nice defense after getting rushed and pussed, though he lets 3 hgh's through. lina calls her family members a 'goon'. such negelectance doesn't go unnoticed :(
bmw's home flag gets eaten alive by wight slayer and then him and elf try to take bmw's east home flag and fails miserably.
player of the game : krillen/slugman combo put up a nice defense at the end
player of forlorn: wight slayer's inability to coordinate the attack with his team on that bmw flag makes this match closer than it really was (i jest).

god cops 22 papa bandura 14

this game the team colors have changed to a bright yellow and a bright red! wait, no, i lied. they're still the same gothic black and emo grey. my deepest concerns and woes to you, lina inverse and maddog *rma*.
someone puts a phone number in the chat in planning time, i think they are trying to trick me into calling it, cause i just LOVE calling people from myth [no].
the game starts and bmw pushes and pushes hard. consisant agressive play puts BMW up 90% to 77%. And then things go haywire as they start to think that thier units are immune to fire. soon ehough the percents are dead even at 71%. gc is partly surrounded at thier flag, with a good hold on north. Then lieutenant bandura rushes gc's flag, but instead of rushing the flag, he loses all of his warriors and really fucks up. meanwhile, ascot makes up for the loss with some really stellar general play. loco ocho, however, decides to drop his satchels directly into the general's protection field with explosive effects... to  itself. thus causing loco to find some other way to help the cause.
wighty informs his team to play for percent, as they are at 46% with 1.5 minutes left (and bmw is at 44%).
there no long remains any units south, gc begins to push bmw back north. loco decides to improvise and make a protection field for his teams dwarf, but mad dog turns it on him, scares all the dwarves away from it with his single dwarf on a hill, then throws a bottle on top of the protection field which bounces towards gc forces, but doesn't do much to knock down percent.
in the last 30 seconds, maddogs dwarf kills a gc dwarf, but ascot decides to suicide his general in a desperate attempt to take the flag, thus dropping them below 20%!
final percents : 34% to 16%
player of game: ascot's generaling was amazing! Then he lost his partner dwarves and suicided it.
player that's equal to lebukin in intelligence: papa bandura lost 14 warriors for 3 kills. please papa, you can do better than that :(

god cops 23 papa bandura 14

game four, the most current overplayed reg map
hoooray! papa bandura steps in to captain which means no more gothic shit for rma. i mean bmw. meanwhile, team gc is beggining to remind me of the adams family with thier constant lack of taste in color and fun. booo
the fake ol dirtae joins the game and begins to question the mother of the team, which makes him look like an idiot. just like when he used to question who he really was. GC gets the normal 2 trow, myrks, 2 locks on a flank and the rest mid strat while BMW does something similiar, except puts souls on the flanks. loco ocho decides to leave a soul at gc spawn without anyone noticing. lets see how this works out in play!
bmw's north pushes because they used thier souls and tag north while thier south pushes about 30 seconds later cuz they didn't use souls. gc sends half of thier souls north and then bmw's north gets pushed back. however, bmw might be pushing, but they're down by about 15% in percent while gc plays close to flawless. both team's mid and south exchange trow and gc's mid and south begins to play more agressive. then gc lets 2 trow through north after crushing it, which ends up kicking a bunch of gc's shit mid. with percents at 58% gc, 37% bmw, gc get's five flags and closes in on bmw's mid. the lionheart decides to suicide his two trow and papa doesn't use his lock and bmw uses. boooooring!

player of the game: knight hawk did stellar with trow, two loincloths up
player that sucked: slugmans 0-13 ratios say it all!

god cops 30  papa bandura 14

well this match has already been decided the previous game so now its just for fun! and now that it's for fun, lina has left, which means better colors and less child neglectance! i like wight slayers color more than papas, i hope they win.
meanwhile ascot decides to say three last phrases to end his last game this mwc! I don't know about the other two, but the first one is right! grim you do pick shitty maps :(. then ascot turns emo and talks about his abusive relationship with his girlfriend. get tough you pussy :(. its also good to point out gc replaced one lamer (od) with another (asmo).
game on!
BMW decides to make a big fat mid and have nothing on flanks, not even scouts, while gc decides to get flanks. maddog gets mad at something, and he says his team is going to lose, so they decide to rush mid with warriors and archers and puss and stuff. it looks really really good for a while and BMW is up by at least 10 percent! then they get wighted and percents are even, nice job there gc! then bmw basically gets out classed and out played, and mad dog jinxes gc with the "destroy thor for us" comment.
Player of Game: wight slayer capped really well, and reacted well. no one else is really the 'player of the game' kudos to you ws!
player of faggotry: toxyn makes an asteroids comment. seriously, slit your throat after your tournament is over :(

final score: god cops 34 papa bandura 14!
ggs papa!


lets conclude some things, shall we?
1. there are players that still exist that fuck up more than asmodian!
2. these games were actually really close like how someone briefly said in the forums.
3. if i was to give lina a name in real life i would pull the 'andrea yates' card.
4. god cops beat papa bandura!
5. the asteroids thing is really fucking dumb and old. seriously, stop :(


i didn't do this review for entertainment value, i didn't do it to win some prize, i did it cause no one else is reviewing shit. seriously, get on that shit guys :(


AND SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT DOING MY COLUMN