Week 2: BMW vs TFS
or should I say
RMA vs TFS, Mad Dog, Strykr and Papa Bandura vs The Elfoid and Will. That's what it looks like to me. These aren't powerhouse teams, BMW is an average team that has the potential to be below or above mediocrity. TFS is like team nice guys, except it has The Elfoid, who is a bully and Will is just a mean mean asshole. I mean, BMW should win no problem. Right? Right? LOL.
Game one. assassin trow nuts.
Will caps for TFS and Papa Ban-ego caps for RMA. They both get really shitty trades because they're both good captains. RMA spends the PT bitching about how the match should be reviewed and how they hate The Elfoid. TFS spends the time thanking Will for units and talking about stratorgees.

If strykr was in highschool, he'd probably be goth with all of this hate.

game starts and maddog surprisingly isn't a complete idiot and instead of bringing his myrk back after it crosses north, he countinues to go along north. Meanwhile, all of the TFS north forces, including Will's trow, 3 myrks and a mort, don't bother to give a lick of shit about this myrk. This will be their downfall, or will it? Anyway, TFS's south loses all of thier arty within 3 minutes of the game to Papa's trow so the remaining melee goes north. I guess people don't play PG a lot in unranked. Real Men have the great idea of just sitting around south, DOING NOTHING. But after 30 seconds, the heroine ascot has injected begins to wear off, tunnel vision is lost and him and whoever else is south with him begins to cross with arty first (without scouting, of course) and push. Will tell's TFS's mid to pull back and asks if south is dead. To be honest I don't think either team had a south to begin with or at least, isn't acting like they EXIST :(
Will pushes north with souly's lack of units and BMW loses half of thier arty and falls back. Mad Dog, however, has other ideas. He actually starts to move the myrk that he snuck north. Here is the chat that follows.

Poooooor miska :(

What the fuck was that? Well, Jedi Val once made the great quote of "I'm a firm believer that a picture (or a film) is worth a thousand words. " This is why.

You have no hopes of ever not sucking.

Game over? I don't think so! Will shows intelligence and takes a risk by planting a villager south earlier in the game! This gives TFS precious time to push, though the percents are 79% to 61%, but don't forget that peasents count with that. Good job at scouting that BMW, you inbred mongrels. Learn how to count.

The other peasents leave Eadwine like how the rest of the dinosaurs left Little Foot in the Universal Studios' Movie

Will abandons Souly north, who gets cornholed. TFS begins to fall apart, they're confused, lost, alone, and afraid.
Well, don't be worry little boys! It's a good thing BMW is completely retarded, as they don't bother to shadow or follow Will, who is on a doomsday trek to BMW's Peasents. They're only protected by 6 mauls and get gang raped by Will's trow and 3 myrks Will saves the game for TFS! Hoooooray Will!

Hoooooray indeed.

TFS gains the lead, 5-2

Player of the Game: Will :D 24 - 199- 1
player of shame: slugman 0 -32 -16

Game Two, Stalk FR
Well for some stupid reason, they played the games out of order. that means both teams cheated, but of course, they're mostly retarded anyways! Will caps for TFS again but now Mad Dog is capping. I don't know if this change will help men alliance but I'm sure his teamname is helping boost morale and focus on important things one calorie at a time.

TFS also replaces souly for The Shade while RMA replaces slugman for Krill.
BMW go for a heavy artiliary strat, without max warriors ( :((((((! ) but lots of puss, dwarves and tagger ghols instead. TFS goes for less dwarves and archs, less puss, but an equal or close to amount of ghols and max warriors. someone draws shit all over the map and its really annoying.

The Elfoid and The Shade begin to make fun of Miska. This will impact his play greatly and negatively.

will takes a quarter of TFS's units and rushes north while they have eveything else mid and south. wills shit gets slaughted and is reduced to a 3% of flagging ghols. TFS is down 55% to 77%, but is up in flags after 4 minutes of intense gameplay (no).

Here is a nice pile of all of Will's dead warriors. Bravo! :(

um, TFS's south gets pussed to shit and thier mid rushes and does pretty well. At like 8 minutes or something, BMW gets ahead in flags and victory immeninent. Trev goes to BMW's home flag with 3 vetted warriors vs vetted 2 thrall and 1 jman and BMW grabs TFS's last flag so the game goes into sudden death. This, of course, is not Trevleyan .tc of old, but instead Magical Trevor. I don't know if you've read his TA, but the description is pretty accurate after he loses 2 warriors (runs the 3rd warrior away) to 2 thrall and 1 jman which remain alive, Then dances around the flag with his warrior, doug comes with another warrior and they kill the two thrall and then they die to the jman. ugh, stupidity. but oh well, if maybe he got this flag TFS would have had a much closer match. but close only counts in hand grimades so what can you do? BMW wins 12-6

Player of the game: Strykr 13 -68 - 1
Player of shame : miska 0-17-7

Game Three, Calm Terries
This game was pure BC, I would expect BMW to win with no problem at all. MD caps for BMW again with his primetime slogan helping the crowd while the elfoid captains for TFS.
i guess the game crashed 3 or something times so this is actually game 5. will labeled it wrong as usual and called it game 3. idiot.
strykr turns PT conversation into a fucking shithole and uses a joke that should have died last summer. will and papa then begin to go into depth about it while magical trevor says something really irrelevent.
I guess i can forgive him for losing the flags last game because it has become obvious to me that there is a large chance he is mentally handicaped. Then will cracks some coop joke, that of course, ROMENDACIL of >IX< ONLY UNDERSTANDS AND THEN BEGINS TO TALK ABOUT HIS PASTTIME COOP GLORIES. JESUS !@# well, as his punishment he only gets thrall and has to follow the elfoid around. sucka!

Does my mind read yours when it says 'What the fuck is this?.'

  anyway, TFS gets a lot of archers and not max puss for some reason and not as much melee while BMA gets one less archer and more puss!
Okay so everything got really boring so i pressed f2 a bunch and now 4 minutes have gone by and i think the films are broken because TFS is up 91% to 74%. what the *bruiser*? the fifty first person named alucard drops, I think he was lagging. TFS now has 90% to 68%. Well what the bloody fuck, a minute later TFS is up 50% to 49%. miska and trevor tried to push mid and got slutrushed and died. TFS rapes the flanks. 1 minute 25 it's 19 -18 in percent with BMW leading. TFS's south got fucked and thier north lost units too. Mad dog's roaming heron pack kills a bunch of shit. the elfoid is blaming shit on lag. TFS wins 4-3. Oh wait, no, it doesn't. someone contested something and now BMW wins 5-3. LOL. nice job.

Player of Game : The Elfoid 19 - 88 - 5 (he healed 3 wights so i took them off)
Player of shit : Romendacil 0 - 20 - 12
Final score : 19 - 14 BMW!

TFS Pulled a really close match against a 3 trow team, if Erik or Browning had showed up they probably would have won. Oh well, ggs.

when we write lab reports in school we have 5 (Five) conclusions
1. The majority of TFS is under substance abuse.
2. BMW tries to hate and talks shit and then they lose games vs the elfoid.
3. the elfoid is a lot better as a player when he's not bitching, spamming and lagging.
4. miska probably hates his life and romendacil should stick to coop
5. papa bandura "we lost to TFS" LOL ALMOST.