[Posted on behalf of Liger; i.e. i didnt write it]

Disabled Myther Relief Fund

The Disabled Myther Relief fund sincerely requests a donation on your behalf to support our mythers and keep the community strong.  Every year we lose thousands of mythers due to various illnesses, disabilities, and disorders.  

Look at the young mythers you will be helping.

Poor elfoid has no sense of coolness and is quite possibly void of any semblance of personality.  The money that you donate will give elfoid a pair of sunglasses and a cool Metros cap that he can don in reverse.  Perhaps one day from the coolness you give elfoid he will one day attain a Yankees cap he can wear reverse style just like his idol, Liger.

Will suffers from sexual disorientation and an STD he could only have presumably attained from licking the panties of OB’s mother.  Due to sexual repression and general agitation he is developing into the myth communities next elfoid and is currently found bickering with elfoid, rivaling him for his spot as the next most annoying poster.  Your money will give will a sex doll with that chick from Shiver’s face on it.

Myrkridion has the unfortunate condition of being way too fucking obese.   His fingers are so chubby that it has gotten to the point where he can not click a single mouse button without pressing the other.  This normally irritates him to quitting myth and mashing endlessly on the keyboard until he finally insults someone on the forums.  Like, Will myrkridion has never been laid and the thought of possibly obtaining an STD makes his eyes water with anticipation.  “Wait until the users on the Star Trek forums here what STD ive got (after I insult their pathetic existences first!!!)”  Of course he will exaggerate and claim he impregnated the animal he fucked as well.  Your generous donations will give Myrkridion a DDR set, which he will play until he either sweats himself to death or gets mauled by a pack of angry wolves for not paying child support.

God cops is retarded.

One of our more prodigal patients, TB suffers from ‘Life’.  Apparently, Tb has secured himself a career with decent financial status and a family (wife included, this time) and is one of the few mythers to actually [eventually] attain a normal, suitable lifestyle.  However this is a major disability as TB has ignored the rest of the community and when he does speak it is only of 3 words, perhaps he thinks he is tirri without having any actual myth talent.  TB’s disability has led him into drastic measures such as not playing myth for endless hours.

Transitioning…Thor suffers from being the most fucked up individual on this planet.  He, like, TB also has a family or at least claims to.  However he suffers from the converse (that means opposite will/elfoid) of TB’s problem and plays myth all too much.  His family is presumably starving, desperately crying to thor for food.  Thor tells them to use his myth points for food stamps.

Ravengard suffers from being a child molester.  He takes children into his basement and forces them to watch his co-op victories.  A very unhealthy lifestyle.  Money cant help him, but we hope that he may out of freak-coincidence kidnap Thor’s child, where little helciob will have a much better shot at life, than under Thor’s care.

Verminix got himself kicked out of college for being to antisocial and he lost all his friends.  By supporting our fund, verminix will get a taxi ride to raz where they can make drastic protests against the Bush’s cutbacks on Engineering Army Corps to fuel his lust for oil control and monopolizing asian children factory workers. Cosmic Truth will be invited as well, he will head the anti-UFO dept.

Paris in flames is emo.  A highly deadly, sickening disease many teenagers fall to when they realize that theyre parents have been lying to them.  He is incredibly anti-govt and rebellious even though there is no possible way he could have established the possible morals, philosophies, political history, and understanding of notions/general politics to form an educated position on the worldly matters.  Though he is not old enough to travel to California with the rest of the myth’s American-hating hippies, your money can support his extensive AOL hours to form AOL chats with conspiracists and collusive forces the like, (they delve into lengthy conversations of poorly constructed horrific music produced by ‘musicians’ no one has ever heard of, presumably created by limp, who has wasted a ‘life’ and is no longer on our disability list due to his verging on the line of actually being deceased) which his child support money is barely able to pay especially after the welfare checks stopped since he dropped out of high school.

GKG wants to blow shit up and yell at people when the strat he used the same fifteen fucking times fails.   Morphed-up dosages of Ritalin will secure the hotheadheadness of this full-metal jacket wanna be.

Slinx looks at porn all day long.  His subscription to Bang Bros, Chicks with Dicks, Horses hung like elephants, Japanese urination/defacation fetishes, and mature women that chew gum, are all running out since he has max’d his parents credit card.  Your money will fund his porn addiction till his glasses break.

 Liger, a trusted figure in the myth community is willing to accept all donations and will make sure they reach the right places, however since you are probably more fucked up then the aforementioned people, perhaps its better you keep the money for yourself and you can now feel a little better about yourself that you contributed to something.