These are generally annoying games, mostly due to the screen names. Like "HeRo". Naming yourself after a common noun is pretty inexcusable, but capitalizing alternate letters is a pinecone up the urethra of dignity. And junk like "Dragon Blood" and "King Adrock". King Adrock, wtf. Is he actually a king? Then why say so? Anyway, they played 3 games, 2 of which I watched.
Game One - [Stampede] [The Desert Between Your Ears]

The game was desert stamp. If you want uniform formatting you can move to China and behead children for labelling firecrackers improperly. Christ, Sam, you're a complete dick.

\The only reason Sam is organizing this tourney is because he wants to impress a girl in his science class. She doesn't even own a computer. Sam is the colostomy bag of evolution.

Essentially, the object of this game is to traverse a group of pigs across a river, through hostile fire, and into the enemy's flag, where they are inexplicably removed from existence. The message is that fat people are not cut out for the world, and should never have existed. Even if they survive all the jeers and taunts and chair-beatings life throws at them from puberty to their still-a-virgin deaths, the best they can hope for is a quiet removal from the world, inconveniencing no one, a slight hint of musky perfume their only lasting contribution to the mortal realm.

White puts their pigs in the middle, and black hides their's somewhere. Then they fight for a bit. Then all white's pigs get pussed and black wins.

QOTD: "mive pigs" -- HeR

Game Two - [Terries] [Trow]

Yeah ok.

The object of terries is to control more flags than your opponent at the end of the time limit. In a game with 6 flags, and two teams, it can be deduced that 4 flags wins the game. I don't know what happens if both teams have 3 flags, I doubt it will ever come up.

Everyone splits up and what could have potentially been one large fight turns into several small one. I only watched one and black won. Then black won the game. White was blue for this game. That didn't make a lot of sense. They didn't play super great or anything, but y'know... who cares

Game Three - [Flag Rally] [Cracks]

I didn't watch this game because the mountainy map bugs me. It's just really stupid and obnoxious and kuk's captain, malk, thinks I'm incompetent because I suck on it and I get crap units. TOTAL CRAP. I dunno, check the thingee to see who won. Probaly black since they seem to be the better team.

In lieu of a decent review, here is a picture of my notes for Game 1. I wrote them on a box of Purina Cat Chow, as can be seen by looking "behind", or "underneath" the writing.

<img src="http://members.home.net/kaivles/catchow.jpg" align="center">