TB would be the “everyman” character in love with the hottest girl in school (see Hanks, Tom or LaBeouf, Shia) who is in between crowds yet liked by almost everyone. Though she doesn’t even know who he is at first, he eventually gets the girl.

Teenie would be the hot but ditzy blonde going out with the star quarterback. After the big party, though, she dumps his cheating ass and has a one night stand with TB.

Paris would be her illegally aborted embryo, tossed away a few weeks later in a McDonald’s parking lot.

Verminix, a student expelled for wearing a clown costume to school every day complete with a big red nose, would accidently eat the fetus while rummaging through the McDonald’s trash can.

Shaister would be the spiky-haired star of the tennis team - who only eats lunch with the other guys on the tennis team.

Cu and Ska are other guys on the tennis team. They wear their varsity jackets everywhere they go, even though they always get third at counties.

Clank would be the loudmouth star athlete - of the JV soccer team. None of the varsity guys pay him any mind, but he shouts a lot at school assemblies.

Raziel would be the king of all the skaters - a pothead who philosophizes with his rag-tag crew of neo-hippies underneath the bleachers. Though he pretends he doesn’t care, he’s always staring at the cheerleaders. Kilgrath and Cruiser would be the two stoner lackeys in dreadlocks always hanging about.

Toecutter would be the crippled old band teacher. Though he’s angry at the world, he usually only takes it out on his students.

Limp, Newskin and 2Tone would be members of the school band who, out of class, form a popular alternative rock band that sounds just like everything else on the radio. At the big party, they’re on stage performing. Their set, designed by 2Tone, is made up of fascinating toilet sculptures, cast in geniune ceramic.

The Elfoid would be the class dog. He would be hit by a school bus at the end of the third episode.

Zagon would be the school librarian’s son. You could always find him on the line at the school cafeteria buying donuts and cheeseburgers.