 | Tank Clan Vs. Mean Monkey Cheeze I saw how close this match was in the score, so I had started to watch films and write a review when I noticed that Myrk had already claimed it. After reading his review and I decided to follow my own advice I posted in forum (about posting other reviews in forum) and continue. (Also, I'm sick and didn't work today and I'm bored). After reviewing all three films, I think Myrk did a real disservice to both teams. Neither team played extremly well, or contains the greatest players, but they both played hard and this match literally comes down to the wire. As well, both teams exhibited great sportsmanship, as well as an enormous capacity to have fun while playing this game. TC and MMC deserved better, in my opinion. This is especially true in MMC's case, as they are now out of the tourney, and perhaps deserve a nicer send off. Anybody who tosses so much poop demands respect. ;) Also, please note, that ALL the mistakes I will point out and gently and friendly ridicule are ones I have made many, many, many times myself. Any TC or MMC members please don't take offense. Part of the fun of Myth is laughing at other's dumb mistakes. And then being laughed at yourself. HFA. =) Game One. Captures on The Dark Canyon. Tank Clan captained by Anti-Tank Mean Monkey Cheeze capped by Cheezefist Not much strategy or tactics in this one. Lots ofrunning around and mistakes. A probably crippling trade along with a poorly executed and unorthodox strat by TC decide this match. Lots of funny stuff though. =) Immediately Psidon of TC asks, "How are we going to kill duffs and fetch?" Ducky Tank replies, "They not fast enough to get to us so we just get balls." Things do not bode well for TC methinks... On the other side, the (should I call them monkeys? meanies? cheeze? I decide on monkeys) monkeys are busy making predicitons... -"Tie! We both lose!" -"Cheeze will have -250 damage" and Psidon weighs in with a heartening, "I think we are going to die." The Monkeys toss poop and the game is on! MMC sends akuma east with lots of zerks/duffs/souls/spids. Cheezefist goes mid w/souls/duffs/fetch/spids. Evil Monkey goes mid with his three tro. Elmo strikes out into the west with zerks/duffs/souls/spids. TC is up to something different. Ducky Tank goes west with spids/zerks/fetch. Psidon goes east with a matching force. Lil Toy Tank accompanies Psi to east with mauls and souls. Anti-Tank sends his many zerks and some souls mid, but pulls all his souls, mauls, fetch and duffs back onto rear circular plateau, setting up an unusual Def point. Sherman Tank goes mid with his only units, spids. And yes folks, if you haven't realized it yet: Tank Clan GETS NO TRO!!!! Cheeze has managed to send his souls right through a ravine on the way mid, thus holding up EM's tro, while Cheeze's spids sit on a cliff near mid and lose mid ball. Luckily Sherman's spid isnt micro'd well and he loses ball right back to EM's arriving tro. Both flanks get the typical balls they are able to reach first. Monkeys up by a ball. While Psi fetches his ball closer to home in east, Cheezefist leaves his zerks exposed on valley floor in mid. Fortunately, TC has NO mid duffs (or much else for that matter) to rain fire down on them. 9;45 left in game and both teams are at 100 %. No damage, but that is about to change. Elmo of MMC charges up hill onto TC's mid plateau with 2 duffs vs 2 zerks/4souls/2spids/and several mauls. Trying to duff uphill vs the 2 charging zerks, each duff manages to wound the other. The zerks are killed and 1st BLOOD IS DRAWN!!!! >=) By Elmo, both for AND against his own team. Pern's souls make short work of one duff and redline the other. Elmo escapes the duff then turns and recharges the hill and 8 souls with it. Meanwhile, his 15 zerks offer moral support from the valley floor. 8:50 - Elmo loses duff as he and Cheeze take mid platueau with souls, Pern retreats his mauls having little soul support. Elmo's spid meanwhile has pushed a ball all the way to rear of his side of map, while he is busy losing two duffs. Ducky comes to help mid with zerks, but Elmo's zerks have finally arrived. Now Ducky needs help as Pern's mauls run towards an empty part of the map and cant support him. Duck gets caught in the ravine and beat up. On the other flank Psi and Lil Tiny Tank spid the ball home pursued by Evil Monkey's and Akuma's 3 tro/zerks/spids/souls. Yikes. 6:50 - Elmo charges Pern's and Duck's zerks and mauls while getting souled from behind. Ummm, he loses mb. Meanwhile, his spid has pushed the ball all the way back mid. Heh heh, I'm beginning to really enjoy Elmo's playing style. Lil Toy loses all his mauls and a fetch as Psidon get to far away to help him. Elmo's souls get caught in flat, killing one fetch, but losing 5 of 8. Elmo's spid has now arrived on the scene with the ball! He kicks ball off cliff into Duck's hands and then runs away. Elmo resteals ball, but instead of taking it home(across the map) he stashes it just a little higher up cliff. 5:20 - Ducky sends his 8 wounded zerks on a west secret flank. Lil Toy receives new duffs from Anti and promptly loses them to enemy tro and friendly fire, while Psi with a valiant, "OK now I'll go die" runs his wounded zerks to mid trhrough soul fire. MMC converges on enemy stronghold and both sides duel. Ducky's secret zerk flank tries to kick off a ball that was left alone on MMC's side to Psi zerks on valley floor, but Psi doesnt hear as Ducky tries to communicte his plan and runs up onto plateau. "NO DUCKY =(" he says and Ducky apologizes (for trying to be creative and use teamwork). Psi runs his zerks ALL the way around the plateau and takes ball back from Elmo's three souls. Then he runs it into one of the narrowest ravines and gets it stuck. 1:00 - Ducky attacks enemy stronghold trying for a steal and dies quickly. Elmo pushes Psi's stuck ravine ball up up up cliff with his soul and drops it back down, then retreats. Sherm blasts loose the ball Elmo didnt take home with a duff and then dies. Evil Monkey charges TC's plateau with tro and steals a ball. Anti-Tank pursues with zerks and EM's other tro kicks them to pieces as they run by. The last red zerk hacks at EM's ball stealing tro as it kicks and freezes it mid-kick. Pretty! More scuffling goes on as everyone seems to hit their teamates as much as their enemy. Ther is a big mess made. A tro is killed contesting in very rear by a lone soul. Other tro frozen near kickin-tro statue, Elmo's 2 souls and and Aku's duffs hold the ravine ball and Anti steals Elmo's "all-over-the-map-w/spider-ball" in the middle of all this chaos with a Maul. Game ends as mauls and souls destroy kickn-tro statue. MMC 7 balls TC 4 balls Barrens LMOTH Evil Monkey caps MMC Psidon caps TC Ducky starts off by telling me to have a good time. Thanks Ducks! =) There is much poop talk and taunting by MMC. TC's new member Pacosaur asks, "Are they obbsessed with poop?" Yes Paco, they are. They're monkeys. Quote by Psidon, cap of TC: "OK everyone mid cause I messed up trade." Quote by me: "Uh oh..." Quote by Ducky Tank: "Hi MMC, have a donkey." The monkeys contribute to the arms race and toss a Thermopoopular Missle and the game is on! Trades : TC MMC 4 locks 4 locks 4 duffs 1 duff (uh oh) 12 arcs 12 arcs 1 jammin' jman 1 jammin' jman 12 wars 20 wars (hmmm) 4 pus ghols 10... yes... 10 ghols w/NO pus 2 thrall Evil Monkey starts out by rushing his 10 pusless ghols mid and circle dancing around flag in a frenzy of fun. Yay for EM. (Screw you myrk, I'm actually having fun reviewing this match). Paco asks how they make them go in a circles. Ah... young grasshopper, you must know inner ghol, before you can learn outer ghol. Paco fails to grasp significance of sacred ghol circle. Psi is freaked by the ghols, and Paco, in a frustrated frenzy of not knowing where the circle formation key is fires a mort ball at happy ghol dancers. A Dud! Paco's first lesson in ghol zen. Akuma flanks east for MMC with 6 arcs/lock/6 wars. Elmo flanks west with 6 arcs/6wars/lock/duff/2 thrallies. I'm already suspicious of Elmo's flank. Tank Clan, obeying orders, sends out NO flanks. They make the potentially devastating mistake of all running mid. At this point, they have already lost the game tactically, opening themselves up to being surrounded and losing their maneuverability, which is essential to survival in The Barrens. (BTW IMHO The Barrens is a rockin fun map, and I hope others keep it in their plugins. This is a great team/tactical map). Fireballs are traded mid, while MMC's flanks move into position. Evil Monkey ghol-rushes Psi's lock and Paco's duff in mid. Psi's second lock autofires (i hope this was unintentional) and gets wipes out three ghols and Paco's ghol-dancer-hating mort. Psi apologizes as Paco says, "Er... I killed myself" in perhaps some mystical understanding that by disturbing the sacred ghol dance, a ghol was instrumental in his destruction. Paco's second lesson in ghol zen. Paco then observes that they are, "Heh.. surrounded." Not quite Paco, not quite yet. Tank Clan is driven off the flat around flag as enemy flanks close in. But wait... Psidon threads a fireball past a charging ghol to nail Evil Monkey's lock by the flag. "Nice" Ducky Tank observes. I agree. Elmo strikes from the west with a lone mort, takin out a TC mort. He then immediately charges forward into a Psidon fireball. Ah... the Elmo I know and love... 5:51 left in game - Akuma in east makes his move towards mid as Elmo in west chases two ghols into uninhabited north with his lock, leaving the rest of his potentially devastating flanker force grouped around a tree. Well, at least it isn't one of those buggy yellow trees. Good tactical decision Elmo! Wait! Elmo IS attacking mid from his flank with ONE ARCHER. He shoots a fire arrow and receives a Psidon fireball up his ass in reply. End of western flank threat. Both teams skirmish mid with ghols and wars getting chewed up by arrows and fireballs. Both teams seem uncomfortable with units, sending melee into kill zones instead of coordinating arty attacks. Except Akuma in east, who seems to be able to operate arty without using melee as shields. 5:24- Elmo has fired at north ghols once with lock and sent out another lone arc on a flanking mission. Lone arc shoots at ghols as they run by. 5:00 - Akuma continues to press from east vs Paco's lone lock and Sherman's unused arcs. Sherman is busy microing his pus ghol, leaving Paco unsupported. Evil Monkey in mid, controlling flag and a superior tactical position, continues to charge melee into Psi's fireballs, losing units steadily. 4:18 - Paco cries out, "Help ME!" as Akuma retreats his arcs and advances his lock against Paco's lock who has more than half his mana bar to work with. 3:57 - Elmo's wars seem to be running across North, perhaps after ghols or mb to catch up to his arcs and ask them WTF ARE YOU DOING CHASING GHOLS!!!! YOU ARE SLOWER!!!!! His two thrall continue to defend their tree in the west. Again though, I must stress to those who would criticize, one of the NON-Buggy trees! HOLY JESUS! Evil Monkey decides to charge 3 locks and several arcs and many wars with 7 wars. Paco hides his now full mana lock behind a tree, saying, "I hope trees can't explode." EM's newly wounded wars try to retreat and are pretty much wiped out by a parting fireball from Psidon, just as Cheezefist gets a lock shot onto a few of TC's arcs. Cheeze then tries to heal his lock, and is finished off by the surviving arcs. Heal sound effect with floating yellow bubbles. Cool. Elmo attacks now with 5 arcs spread out across half of map as his wars gather together in the north. His thrall still stand by the tree. One seems to be checking out the ass of the other. Perhaps love amongst the undead does exist. Pern pusses Akuma's wars and arcs. "Go ghols!" yells Paco as his lock is out of position to take adavantage of the frozen melee. Paco fires with a "C'mon baby." The wars unfreeze and run away as Paco's late fireball MAYBE wounds ONE, eliciting a "Horsepucky" from Paco. Horsepucky? Jesus, and I thought I used dated phrases... 2:10 Akuma presses, pretty much on his own now, except for Elmo's 4 wars charging from north and a couple of Evil Monkey's warrior survivors from the now decimated mid of MCC. 2:05 - THRALL WATCH UPDATE: Still at tree. Is one thrall marginally closer to other? Perhaps being overtaken by passion, he is making his move. I leave them to their privacy and go to watch Akuma get overwhelmed. Elmo continues to charge single units into enemy groups. Evil Monkey is eliminated. Akuma begins to feel the heat. 1:10 THRALL ALERT!!!! Elmo's thrall on move towards flag! TAKE COVER! Their passion for each other now sated, they want lust for victory! 0:36 - Cheezefist apologizes. I guess for MMC losing despite superior tactical advantage. It's ok Cheeze, I'm having fun anyway. =) 0:30 - Evil Monkey seizes control of Elmo's troops. Sorry EM, you should of done that at very start of game. Akuma actually presses flag, loses his melee but kills Paco's lock. Paco says, "Doom hoff don hiya!" I HOPE this is an actual language. Game Over. TC holds flag with 55% surviving. MMC has 17% Score is now TC 15, MCC 13. At this point, either team could win the match. It could go either way. Winner advances. Loser is out of MWC. Drama. How many final games in matches with "skilled" teams could you say that about so far? Calm Before the Storm - Flag Rally Psidon caps TC Evil Monkey caps MCC Lots of chat continues from lobby that I don't understand. I'm feeling lightheaded from being sick and writing too much. Paco asks, "Will fire arrows work here?" On this very snowy map... Poop is tossed. Game ON! Ducky Tank, "Lets give reviewers something interesting." Thanks Ducky, you already have. GL to both teams. TC gets standard wars/duffs/arcs/heron/ghols/thrall/ 2 prong/weak mid trade. Defends normal north start flags w/only thrall. MMC gets scads of ghols/wars/only 2heron for south flank. Wars/duffs for east flank. Defends flag 4 (the one on the ridge in SE) with 12 arcs/ 2 duffs/ some thrall. East flank of MMC is... uh oh... Elmo with 13 wars and 2 duffs. "Dont lead your rush with duffs Elmo!" I shout. "Learn from your mistakes!!!!" Will he listen? We shall see... Akuma sends two wars SW to tag and all others go mid w/2duffs along with Evil Monkey's supa-max-ghol-pack and 2 herons. Cheeze is on flag4 def. Evil Monkey's ghol/herons pack drives Psi's lesser pack off mid flag before Psi can tag and wipes it out. Psi's lone heron survivor retreats. Akuma slides west from mid to confront Sherman's wars/ghols and Paco's arcs/heron and Lil Toy's 2 duffs. Elmo is harassed in east by a ghol and stalls at flag 3. Evil Monkey lets Psi's heron escape in mid. 9:26 - Akuma retreats in SW. He has no arcs Elmo retreats in East. He has no arcs. Evil Monkey advances on north w/ghols herons, letting Psi's surviving lone heron tag mid finally. Cheezefist lines up ALL of MCC's arcs in a pretty line on flag 4, as his teammates retreat because they have NO ARC OR GHOL OR PUS SUPPORT. 8:36 - Akuma slides north of TC's advancing western/now more southern flank. He is now closest to flag 8 in NW, which is defended by some thrall. But... Evil Monkey targets that flag with his ghol/heron pack, thus removing any advantage their not engaging western flank has given them. If he attacked flag 1 or 2 as Akuma attacked flag 8, things may have been different. In the east, Elmo has somehow got a duff cut off in retreat, tries to kill a ghol with it, only wounds the ghol, and is hacked apart by Ducky's heron. I decide Elmo has an unhealthy ghol obssession. Uh oh, Elmo now charges Arcs ON A HILL w/his lone surviving duff, is wounded and retreats. Evil Monkey does not attack flag 8 (he prob would lose) but now runs to flag 1 in north with ghols. Elmos places sats vs advancing wars. Finally Elmo finally! Elmo uses duffs correctly! And there was much rejoicing. Evil Monkey takes flag 7, which Akuma was closer to, with two heron, thus not allowing his ghols to take flag 1. Akuma's positioning is now completely wasted. Seeing thrall on flag one, EM sends ghols to flag 2 in NE. Precious time is wasted. Elmo charges his wounded duff again, letting enemy heron get close and loses the advantage of his having placed satchels in first place. His duff is arced and dies. 7:15 - Akuma reforms at flag 8 awaiting his duffs, having sent half his wars to flag 1, which prob couldn't be taken by heronless ghols. In south TC's western flank storms last flag (flag 4). Elmo skirmishes warriorpack vs warriorpack. Cheezes duff, in midst of friendlies, throws a cocktail against rushing enemy wars, which bounces right back in his face off of one of his own units and... well... we all know what happens there... Elmo gets caught spread out around ANOTHER tree. WHOOOO ELMO!!!! Ducky Tank clumps his wars and wins that fight. Akuma takes flag 8 along w/Evil Monkeys herons, who should of run to flag 1 to help ghols. For some reason unfathomable, Akuma retreats his MORE wars vs LESS thrall at flag 1 and gets one war stuck running against the thrall. Evil Monkey's ghols take flag 2 from two wars. Both teams now need one more each flag for win. 6:36 - Flag 4 in south. Cheeze's arcs are dead. Elmo's wars are dead. Cheeze's wounded thrall are surrounded. TC falls on flag for kill. 6:30 - Akuma finally attacks flag 1, wars start taking thrall apart. Almost there... 3 left... thrall step back, but still hold flag... TC takes down last MMC thrall at flag 4 and captures their last flag, as only two TC thrall were left for MCC to kill on flag 1, their last flag. Akuma's wars chop em up during SD and both teams end up tagging all 9 flags. Tank Clan wins the game AND MATCH because they tagged first, by about 5 seconds. Phew. I'm beat. These may have not been the most skilled games ever played. They contain neither the best strategy, nor the best tactics and unit maneuvering. These guys are your normal myth players. Like yours truly, they are neither the best nor worst. They make plenty of fun mistakes and have a good time. But the match as a whole is definitly worth a viewing. Especially if you like comedy and drama and two fun teams having fun battling it out down to the wire. Good games to all, and I'll see you on bnet. |
